Stephanie Skove
Like with any new job or new school there is usually a learning curve. In most of my past experiences, there has been a lot to learn at first but overtime I plateau. However, this experience is unique. I have found that the children I work with and my wise, experienced co-workers teach me something new everyday. When I arrived the first week, I thought I had a good understanding of domestic violence, but I was wrong. When you hear the words domestic violence what comes to mind is a husband physically abusing his wife, but that does not even begin to cover it. Domestic violence also includes psychological, emotional, sexual, and financial abuse. For example, it can include preventing a partner from working so that they cannot gain financial dependence, or controlling where a partner goes, what they read, or who they talk to. Even though people associate domestic violence with a female victim, both men and women can be the victim, and both men and women can be the perpetrator. In addition, domestic violence amongst same sex couples happens as frequently as domestic violence among straight couples. The first week of working at the Family Justice Center broke down all the previous conceptions I had about domestic violence. In my opinion, these stereotypes still very much exist across the general population, and the lack of knowledge and understanding is what makes this an even more concerning issue.
Not only am I redefining what domestic violence means to me, but my work has also made me think a lot about the person as a whole. It has made me think about the importance of mental health and how everyone needs to be supported mentally and emotionally. I have spent some time reflecting on the difficulties and stresses the children I am working with experience. The expression “growing up too fast” has taken on a whole new meaning to me since seeing young children interpret for their parents, or a one and a half year old who can only be consoled by her seven year old sister.
Before coming to Duke, I always took pride in being an independent, self-sufficient individual who did not have to ask for help. After three years at Duke, I have finally started to break down that pride and realize that learning to ask for help is a process. I am inspired by the women who have chosen to ask for help not only for themselves but for their children as well. I hope that in the next five weeks I can continue to take away lessons that change the way I think about my community and myself.